Scars
by Rivendell101
Summary: They all had scars, but she had hers because of him and he just didn't know how to deal with that fact. NaLu


**Summary: They all had scars, but she had hers because of him and he just didn't know how to deal with that fact.**

**Scars**

The scar wasn't that noticeable. It was only a few shades lighter than the rest of her skin since she already had a lighter skin tone and, unless you knew it was there or had seen her without it, you would never notice it.

It wasn't an ugly scar. It didn't pull at the skin or leave any noticeable traces behind. But it was big, taking up nearly the entire right side of her stomach, stretching from her ribcage to just above her hip. In branched out in an almost delicate way and seemed to glow a silver color in the moonlight, so in a way it was almost beautiful.

And maybe I would have thought that it was beautiful if it wasn't there because of me, because I _burned_ her. I winced at the thought as I pulled my eyes away from my partner, or, more specifically, her scar. Happy had curled up on her lap and while he had been moving around, her shirt had accidently ridden up, giving me a perfect view of the barley even there scar that I knew was there. _It was right there_.

I felt awful about hurting her. No one could say that I didn't hate myself even a little for hurting her like that, even if it had been for a good reason. I never once wanted to hurt her, not ever. And it killed me a little just thinking about the fact that I had hurt her. Not our enemy- _me_. She was hurt because of me, but did she blame me for it? No. She didn't blame me at all, she wasn't angry about it and that made me feel even guiltier. Partly because it was my fire that hurt her and partly because she stuck by my side the entire time and tried to comfort _me_ even though she had been the one that was hurt.

I should have been the one holding on to her, promising that it would never happen again. She shouldn't have had to tell me that.

I had hurt her and she wasn't angry with me or afraid, granted she asked me to burn her, as wrong as that sounded, and it did save her life, but I would never forgive myself for it.

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. It never should have happened. Not ever. It was just supposed to be a simple mission. No one was supposed to get hurt. _Lucy was not supposed to get hurt_.

Oh god. I ran a shaky hand through my hair. There had been so much blood. So much blood… She had been lying on the ground, blood _pouring_ out of her side and smiling. Dear god, she was smiling like nothing had happened, like there wasn't blood _gushing_ out of her side and _pooling_ around both of us. She had smiled up at me and told me it was okay- _everything would be okay_.

Then she asked me to burn the wound shut and Erza was whispering something and I was refusing to do it because all we needed to do was wait for Gray to get back with Wendy and everything would be fine. _She_ would be fine. Lucy had only shook her head and said that Wendy wouldn't make it back in time and if I wanted to save her I would have to burn the gash shut.

And that's what I had done. I had burned it closed because dammit I was not going to let her die while I could stop it. And she… she hadn't even cried out, not once. She had just continued to smile at me.

I fisted my hands in to my hair, tugging on the brightly colored hands as hard as I possibly could.

We never should have separated, never, but I had lunged at the group of mages we had been hired to get rid of before Lucy could pull me back. Then one of them had done… something and before I knew it everyone else except for Happy was gone and there was only one of the enemy mages standing in front of me.

I didn't question it though, because sometimes things like that happened and you just had to push yourself through it. Which I had. It didn't take long for me to take out the mage and then I had gone looking for everyone else.

Happy, who was flying a little bit ahead of me, spotted her first.

"_Lucy!" The blue cat cried out. Happy, flying at max speed, collided with the blonde's head, nearly sending both of them tumbling to the ground, and wrapped his tiny arms as far around her as he could in a strange type of hug. "We found you!" He called out happily._

"_Happy," Lucy hissed, "Let go of me!" She batted at the cat that was still clinging to her head, now crying fake tears and saying something about me destroying everything._

_I laughed as I walked up to my two best friends, my grin only faltering slightly as I took in Lucy's appearance. Her clothes were torn and she was a bit cut up and bruised, but that was it. She wasn't hurt badly._

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. Why was I thinking about what happened? I didn't _want_ to remember!

I pressed the palms of my hands against my closed eyes, watching the colors explode behind my eyelids.

"_Lucy," I called out her name, much like Happy had done, and shrugged one of my arms around her, pulling her close against my right side. I tried really hard not to show it, but I was so damn happy that she wasn't hurt. After what had happened with the Grand Magic Games and Future Lucy- No. I internally shook my head. It wasn't worth thinking about. She was fine- she was alive and I would never let something like that happen again. I would rather have my heart ripped right out of my chest than lose her again._

_I felt her arm snake around my back and snapped my head down to look at her. Lucy's pretty brown eyes were filled with concern and I realized that I had started to shake lightly. "Natsu, are you okay?" She asked me softly, worry and confusion clear in her voice._

_I gave her body a gentle squeeze and grinned at her widely. "I'm fine, Lucy!" Her lips twitched up into a small smile, but her eyes didn't change, they were still uneasy. She didn't say anything else though, and I was thankful for that. _

_Lucy knew me better than anyone else, well maybe not Happy, but she knew me better than any other person, and I liked to think that I knew her better than anyone else. I mean, sure, I used to be great friends with Lisanna, we still were in a way, but then she had "died" and I had met Lucy. Then we had gone to Edolas and Lisanna had come back with us, and I was happy about that, I was happy she was alive, but we rarely had time to talk. Lisanna had her team with Elfman and Mirajane, sometimes she and Juvia kidnapped Lucy from me so that they could go on a mission together, and Lucy was my partner, I would never change that._

_Lucy disentangled herself from my grasp and bumped her shoulder playfully against mine. I shot her a lighthearted glare and then smiled. "We should probably go find Erza, Gray, and Wendy."_

_I nodded in agreement, well Happy protested. "And Charle," he chided her, flopping down onto her head. Lucy rolled her eyes and reached up to pat Happy on the head. _

_Before any of us could actually start our search for our other teammates a loud snapping noise came from behind us. I immediately got into a defensive position, standing in front of Lucy and lighting my fist on fire. I was just about to lunge at the potential enemy when a familiar, and annoying, voice spoke up._

"_Geez, calm down, Flame Brain."_

_I bared my teeth at the newcomer, growling lowly. "What did you just call me, Stripper?" I took a step forward, ready to beat the shit out of the bastard, but Lucy's hand shot out and wrapped around my shoulder, pulling me away from our other teammate. I turned around, about to tell her to let me go so I could beat up the stripper, but she wacked me over the head. "Ouch!" I yelped, rubbing my hand over the bump forming on my head. "What was that for, Lucy?" I whined._

_She shot me a pointed look and I heard Erza sigh. Shit, Erza! I immediately inched my way behind Lucy, glancing at the red haired demon. "We don't have time for this," she hissed at Gray and I. She sighed again and murmured something that sounded suspiciously like "dumbasses", but I wasn't sure. She glanced at everyone and raised a brow in question. "Where are Wendy and Charle?"_

_I was about to respond, but Lucy elbowed me in the ribs. It didn't really hurt, actually it sort of tickled, but I would never tell anyone that. "We don't know," Lucy told the other female. "We were just about to go looking for all of you."_

_Erza nodded at the blonde and spun around on her heel, "Let's go find them then." We all nodded and I was just about to follow her when-._

I let out a shuddery breath and I could vaguely hear Mira asking me if everything was okay, but I couldn't answer because I was already closing my eyes, trying to block out my thoughts. I knew that I couldn't though. The memory liked to replay itself almost every day, twice a week if I was lucky.

It was almost worse than the time Future Rogue had-.

I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, gritting my teeth.

"_Natsu! Move!" I didn't have time to react to the shout when I felt someone shove me to the side. I heard Erza and Gray both scream something, panic clear in their voices and then I hit the ground and rolled onto my back just in time to see something dark _impale_ Lucy._

_I could only watch as Lucy fell to the ground on her knees, both of her hands flying to her right side to put pressure on the wound that was _gushing_ blood. There was so much blood. It was _pouring_ out of her stomach, running over her legs and _pooling_ on the ground around her. Lucy's hands were doing nothing to stop the blood from _streaming_ out of her._

_I ripped my gaze away from her and looked behind me to see who had attacked her. It was one of the mages we had been assigned to defeat. It was the mage I had apparently failed to defeat._

_I didn't bother with the smirking mage as I whipped around to look at Lucy again, not wasting any time in lunging for her. Erza ran past me to attack the other mage and shouted for Gray to go find Wendy, but I paid no mind to it._

_I gently laid her down on her back as she coughed up blood, both of my hands pressing down on the large, deep cut on her stomach. I shook my head, terror flooding through me. _Not again_. This could not be happening again._

"_Lucy!" I cried out. "Lucy, come on, look at me," I pleaded. She coughed again and turned her head to face me. Then she smiled. How could she be smiling at a time like this? "What were you thinking?" I whimpered. "Why would you do that?" _

_Her smile widened. "I couldn't let you get hurt now could I?" She teased me. "You are my partner after all. We protect each other."_

"_Lucy…" This was so much like what happened during the S class exams. My eyes softened briefly. Lucy would never change. I winced as I looked down at the gash on her side; the blood flow wasn't stopping- it looked like it was getting _worse_- and if Gray didn't get back with Wendy then…_

"_Lucy!" Happy cried, sobbing her name as he buried his face against her chest. The little exceed looked like he wanted to say more, but he was crying too hard. _

_This was so much like Future Lucy's death, but so much different at the same time. Partly because this was _Lucy_. Not Future Lucy. It was actually _Lucy_. I was sitting over her, talking to her as she- No. She was not going to die. I refused to let that happen._

"_Lucy," I whimpered again. "Lucy, you can't die," I whispered, looking back and forth between he eyes and the blood spilling out from in between my fingers. "You can't die. Not now." _

_Lucy just kept smiling and reached up with a shaking hand covered in her own blood. She cupped the side of my face and brushed her thumb under my eye. I had been crying… I still was. "Sorry," she murmured, referring to the blood she had accidently wiped on my jaw, not that I cared about it. I was more concerned about her than anything else. A little blood on me wasn't going to affect me._

_She kept her hand pressed against my face, her thumb still sweeping back and forth and I leaned into her palm, wanting to be as close to her as possible. "Natsu," I snapped my gaze up to meet hers and nearly cringed. Her normally bright eyes were clouded over and dark. She was losing too much blood. "It's okay," she whispered. "Everything will be okay," she promised._

_I nodded and put more pressure on her wound. I heard someone shout something and then Erza slid to the ground next to me. I didn't bother looking at her. I could just barley hear her saying something to Lucy, but the blood pounding in my ears drowned out the noise for a minute, then Erza gasped and I fought to hear again._

_Both Erza and Happy were shaking badly, but I looked at Lucy instead. Erza murmured something under her breath, but she didn't say anything._

_Lucy was looking straight at me. "Natsu," she started. "You need to burn it closed." What? She… She wanted me to burn her? No. I shook my head wildly. I was not going to hurt her, not like that- not ever! I would never hurt her!_

"_No," I nearly hissed, I hated her idea, but I couldn't be angry with her. "No," I was still shaking my head. "We- we just need to wait for Gray and Wendy to get back and then she can heal you and-."_

"_Natsu," she cut me off, voice firm. I snapped my mouth shut and looked away from her eyes. "Wendy and Gray are not going to get here in time." I winced. "If you don't close it now I am not going to make it back to the Guild."_

_I could feel more tears running down my face. I didn't know what to do. I could understand what she was saying, but it would kill me if I had to hurt her. "I… I can't-."_

"_You can," she whispered, using her, now deathly cold, hand to drag my face up to meet her eyes. "Natsu… please?" The look in her eyes was breaking my heart and the gravity of the situation hit me. Lucy could die and I was the only one who could save her._

"_Okay," I said softly, my voice cracking slightly. "Okay," I repeated strongly. If it meant that Lucy would be okay, it meant that she would live, than I would do whatever it took. I moved so that I was hovering over her more than before and repositioned my hands on her stomach. I leaned down close to her face for a moment. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. _

_I pulled away from her and lit my hands on fire, not letting her eyes leave mine as I closed the gash on her side. Lucy winced in pain briefly, but she didn't cry out. She opened her eyes and smiled at me, but it only made me feel worse about what I was doing._

_After several more seconds Erza reached out and put a hand on my arm lightly. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye and she nodded once, gesturing to Lucy's side. I looked at her stomach and let the fire on my palms die out. The gash was closed._

_I looked at Lucy again and moved one of my hands to her face, gently stroking the soft skin while I caught her hand with my other one. "Thank you," she whispered softly. It was so soft that if I hadn't been a Dragon Slayer I probably never would have heard it. She shot me another smile and then her eyes rolled back and she went limp._

"_Lucy!" I screamed, panic flooding through me. I drew her close to my chest to see if she had a pulse, but my hands were too shaky to check. "Lucy!" I cried out again._

"_Natsu," Erza put a hand on m shoulder and squeezed. "Natsu, she's okay," she told me. "She's okay. It's just shock and blood lose," Erza promised. "She'll be fine." Erza squeezed my shoulder again and I forced myself to calm down. "You did well."_

"_Natsu…" I turned to my blue friend. Happy looked at Lucy, tears running down his face. He looked back at me. "Is Lucy okay now?" He asked me innocently._

"_Yeah Happy," I sent him a small, shaky smile. "She's going to be fine." She was going to be fine…_

_I gathered the, now unconscious, blonde to my chest and stood up. Erza, who still had her hand on my arm, stood up with me, never taking her eyes off of the blonde in my arms. Happy flew up and rubbed his head against the side of her face gently before moving onto my shoulder._

"_Natsu!" Someone called out. "Erza!" The two of us turned around in time to see Gray and Wendy running towards us, Charle flying just above them. The three skidded to a stop just in front of Erza and me, glancing between the blood- _so much blood_- on the ground and the girl I had curled up against me. _

_Wendy had tears running down her face as she reached out for Lucy. "Lucy…" Wendy whispered. "Natsu," she looked at me. "Can I…?" She gestured with her hand towards Lucy and I nodded._

"_Yeah…" I crouched down and gently laid Lucy back on the ground. Wendy and Gray both gasped as they caught a look at the burn mark on her side, but I couldn't look at it._

"_Natsu… you…?" Gray stuttered out._

_I winced and looked away from them. "I had to," was all I could say. Maybe Wendy could… "Wendy?" I asked, not looking away from Lucy's face. "Could you get rid of the burn?" I finally looked at the small girl who was now biting her bottom lip nervously. _

"_I don't know," Wendy whispered. "But I can try!" I could see the raw determination in her eyes, and it gave me the courage to finally look at the damage I had done to my best friend. I managed to fully see the scarring on her side just before Wendy's hands covered it, glowing with her magic._

_It was bad. It was really bad. It was at the very least a third degree burn; the skin that had been touched by my fire was red and black- charred, the skin was peeling back and warped into strange patterns. I ripped my eyes away from the spot just as quickly as I had looked at it. How could I have done that to Lucy? I ducked my head down, ashamed, and dropped down so that my face was close to Lucy's. "I'm so sorry, Lucy. I'm so sorry."_

_The seven of us stayed like that for several minutes. Wendy was working on Lucy, who was still unconscious, not that I was expecting her to be awake, while Charle stood guard over the girl. Gray and Erza were murmuring quietly back and forth, but I didn't bother to listen to what they were saying. Happy was curled against Lucy's left side, his head resting on her chest, just watching her, and I stayed by Lucy's head, whispering quiet apologies to her even though I knew she couldn't hear me._

_After what seemed like a lifetime Wendy sat back, a small, sad smile on her face. "I couldn't get rid of all of it," she told all of us. "Something is interfering with my magic." Wendy looked at me. "I think it might have something to do with Natsu also being a Dragon Slayer," she said shyly, probably afraid that I would be mad._

_I sighed and looked at the spot where Lucy's burn had been. The damaged skin was healed and the red and black discoloration was gone. It didn't even look like anything was ever there, but I could see it, and I knew that everyone else could to. The skin was still scarred, but not as badly. The only thing that was noticeable was the white, almost silvery patch of skin that stretched from her right hip to the middle of her rib cage on the same side. Unless you were looking for it you would probably never notice, or if you did you wouldn't think twice about it._

_I reached out without really thinking about it and trailed the tips of my fingers down her side. It didn't feel like a scar. It was as smooth as the rest of her skin and there was no edge to it. It was only a patch of skin slightly different from the rest. _

"_I managed to get rid of everything except for the white discoloration," Wendy continued, voicing my own thoughts. Wendy looked at me again, a huge smile spreading across her face. "She'll be fine though."_

_Erza and Gray both breathed a sigh of relief and Happy started to purr loudly as he moved closer to Lucy. I sent Wendy a small smile. "You did well, Wendy," I told her._

"_We need to get back to the Guild," Erza told all of us sternly. "Natsu," she pointed at me. "Can you-?"_

"_Yeah," I already knew what she was going to ask. I carefully wrapped my arms around Lucy again, lifting her into the air. "I've got her." Erza nodded and turned on her heel, heading back to the town were we had gotten our mission, dragging the beaten up man that had speared Lucy behind her. Everyone else followed slowly, but I hung back for a moment._

_I dipped my head down slightly and buried my nose in Lucy's hair, breathing in her scent. I shifted a bit and nuzzled my nose against her cheek. "Never again," I promised. "I will never hurt you again. Not ever." I pulled my face away from hers and started after the others, trying to fight back the sick feeling in my stomach and-._

A hand dropped down onto my shoulder and squeezed gently. My eyes snapped up and I realized that I was hyperventilating. Lucy's concerned face was only inches away from mine.

"Natsu," she squeezed my shoulder again, eyes searching my own, trying to find what was wrong. "Natsu, what's wrong?"

I couldn't do this.

I ripped my arm away from her, not missing the confused and hurt look that flashed over her face, and pushed away from the bar. The stool I had been on hit the ground with a clatter and then I was gone.

…

It was nearly midnight by the time I stumbled back into town. After I had run out of the Guild I had jumped on the first train out of town and had gotten off in Hargeon, the place where I had first met Lucy.

I had just walked around for several hours, trying to calm myself down. After telling myself that "Lucy was fine" and "Lucy is alive" repeatedly I had finally calmed down enough to head back to Magnolia.

The first thing I was going to do was talk to Lucy.

I stood outside of her window for a moment, just looking up at it. I knew that it would be unlocked. Lucy had given up on trying to keep Happy and me out of her apartment, we would break in no matter what, and after a few months she had gotten used to us sleeping in the same bed as her.

I took a deep breath and ran towards the wall in front of me, jumping up at the last second and scaling the wall. I hooked my hand around the edge of the window frame and hoisted myself up. Damn, it was a lot easier to get in with Happy helping me.

I quickly threw the window open and peeked inside. Happy was lying on the bed purring, asleep, but where was Lucy?

I jumped down onto the floor, trying to fight back the panic that was trying to take hold. I sent a quick look around the room, but I didn't see her anywhere. None of the lights in the apartment were on, so she could have still been at the Guild, but if she was then why was Happy here?

"Lucy, where are you?" I mumbled under my breath.

"So," a voice spoke up. I winced as a lamp off to my left snapped on, momentarily blinding me. I turned towards the voice, and light, catching sight of a small blonde sitting at a desk. Lucy. She sent me a smile. "How was… Clover town?" She guessed?

I shook my head, sitting down on her bed. "Hargeon," I mumbled. She nodded, but didn't say anything else. "How did you know I left town?" I asked.

"Wendy and Gajeel could tell that you left by your scent fading," she said. "That and I know you better than I know anyone else." I couldn't look her in the eyes. She sighed and stood up, closing the short distance between us. She crouched down in front of me, ducking her head down so that she was looking at my eyes. I couldn't turn away. "This is about the scar, isn't it?" She asked me softly.

I opened my mouth, ready to tell her that that wasn't it, when she stopped me. "Don't you dare lie to me, Natsu," she hissed at me. I snapped my mouth shut. "Natsu," she whispered, moving closer to me. She cupped my face in her hands and gently forced me to look at her. "Natsu, if something is bothering you, you can tell me."

She stood up and I sighed, leaning forward and lightly resting my head against her stomach. "I hurt you," I mumbled. "I'm supposed to protect you… and I hurt you," I whispered, self-loathing coursing through me. I found the bottom of her shirt and slipped my hand under the thin fabric, placing my hand over the mark I knew was there.

Lucy sighed and pulled me to my feet, but I didn't remove my hand from her side. "Natsu," she said my name sadly. "That wasn't your fault," she told me.

"Yes it is!" I tried not to shout. "If I had just made sure that guy was knocked out earlier or if I had been paying more attention you never would have gotten hurt and I never would have had to hurt you-!"

"Do I look mad to you?" She said softly, I had just barely heard her. I snapped my head around to look her in the eyes. "Do I look like I blame you?" No she didn't. I knew that she didn't blame me for it, for any of it, but I still blamed myself. I wanted to tell her that too, but my tongue felt too heavy in my mouth.

Lucy reached up and cupped my face again, her thumb moving soothing circles against my jaw. "Natsu, you saved me," she said softly, standing on her toes to kiss the corner of my mouth. "If you hadn't have done what you did I wouldn't be standing here right now." She wrapped both of her arms around my neck. "So thank you."

"Lucy," I managed to choke out as I curled my arms around her back. She was right, of course. I shouldn't blame myself for what happened. Obviously she didn't blame me and no one else did either. "I'm sorry."

"Natsu-."

I stopped her. "I'm sorry for being stupid," I clarified. "It's just…" I trailed off slightly. "After the games and the dragons and now this," I lightly ran my thumb over the scar. "I just…" I swallowed thickly. "I don't ever want to lose you," I whispered. "Not again."

"You won't," she promised, slightly pulling away so she could look at me. Her eyes were heartbreakingly honest. "Natsu, I'm not going anywhere."

"Good," I whispered, dropping my head back down. I kissed the side of her neck softly, feeling her pulse pound under my lips. "Good." I kissed her neck again and moved back, leaning my forehead against hers. "Because I am never letting you go."

I tilted my head and leaned down further, capturing her mouth with mine. I felt her smile against me as she wrapped one of her arms tightly around my neck, the other moving up to play with my hair. I pulled her closer.

I pulled away after several minutes, completely breathless. I kissed her again quickly and tucked her head against my chest. "I love you," I whispered into her hair.

I felt her smile against my skin. "I love you too."

We all had scars, but she had hers because of me. And, while I didn't quite know how to deal with that fact, I knew I would push through it, because I had her.

…

**AN: I don't even know guys. This just came out of nowhere and I'm not 100% happy with the ending, I liked it up until the kiss, but I didn't know how to end it. I hope you liked it though! Check out some of my other stories and be sure to leave a review! **


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